UniqueandLove

Creating an Inclusive World where Individuality is Celebrated and Self-Esteem is High.

Lilly

Lilly loves to be outside. She loves to be in the puddles, climbing trees, collecting things, getting messy. Lilly loves dancing. Lilly is a bubbly character that everyone warms to. She makes me have conversations with people I never would do when we are out as people are drawn to her charismatic smile.

Lilly likes playing with people her size because she feels she can keep up with them. She can get upset if her friends run off and leave her, they haven’t left her, she just can’t keep up.

Lilly has a genetic condition. Her syndrome is rare, and the scale of symptoms is vast. For Lilly, she is small, although she is four, she wears 12 month clothes. She needs support with her development. She has some behavioural issues. If Lilly doesn’t want to do something, she will meltdown until she is ready to come out of it. This could be a symptom of her syndrome, or it could be because she is four.

Lilly often confuses people. She is significantly below the average height for her age, yet she is very articulate and above age-related expectations for her speaking. Her size and cuteness means that people want to baby her, but she is a strong independent character who doesn’t want to be smothered and needs to be given independence.

Lilly is adopted. She was put up for adoption as a baby. Usually, babies are easy to adopt because lots of potential adoptive parents want a baby.

My social worker came to my house and I was given Lilly’s portfolio when she was 15 months old and I was given the choice as to whether I wanted to adopt her. The portfolio contained a photo of Lilly and details of her condition. Her portfolio went to lots of prospective parents, but it was given back.

I couldn’t find a reason for not adopting her.

During the adoption panel meeting it came across like their whole focus was upon how I would cope with Lilly’s condition and not on Lilly as a person. I saw Lilly as a little girl and that she has needs now. Her potential future was not a consideration.

The panel all agreed that I was best placed to be Lilly’s mum. I was told after the decision that one thing that confirmed it all for them was that I saw Lilly as a little girl first and that the condition was a part of her.

I gave feedback that they could have made the whole adoption process more about Lilly being a whole, not just a part of her.

I hope they took it on board.

Lilly fits in perfectly to our family of three. 

Lilly is Unique & Loved.

Written by Lilly’s Mum, Gillian.